What was once exclusive to college students a few years back, Facebook has become a way for the 35+ crowd to connect with friends and acquaintances from their past and link up with people they have just met or will soon meet.  But is that good for you and your business?
For me, Facebook is a sanctuary where I can and want to be able to be myself with a few hundred of my closest friends.  If I have a great day, I want to tell people about it.  If my kids excel at something, I want to brag a bit.  If I’m having a bad day, I want to lament in the hopes that one of my friends will say something brilliant to help turn my frown upside down.  But in doing so, I can put my own personal and business reputation at risk by being vulnerable and transparent.

Like everyone else, my “friends list” consists of former classmates, colleagues, family, neighbors, fellow church members, etc…   Recently I’ve become more lax about who I accept as friends.  I friended a talented young lady I met at a singing audition in Chicago.  We shared an interest/experience and seemed to click.  We converse every once in awhile and probably follow each others’ lives.  I just became friends with someone I sat next to at an Indianapolis Colts game.  I know nothing about her except for a brief glance at her profile and a few of her status updates.  And I’ve become “friends” with people who were recommended to me by people I trust because they believe it’s a good connection for me to make for my business or interests.  So far, that’s not been a problem.  And I have about 50 “friend requests” that I still haven’t accepted and probably won’t.

The problem comes when I let my guard down and post a comment about something personal.  I’m human.  I get angry, frustrated, and hurt.  I have religious views.  I take moral stances.  I have strong political opinions.  I am a sports fanatic.  I am a very outgoing, outspoken and social person.   I speak my mind and welcome debate.  That’s who I am.  That seems to rub some people the wrong way.

Lately I find myself censoring my comments.  What’s worse is that others are now censoring my comments.  For instance, I made a general comment the other day that “some actors are pigs” referring to my involvement in acting and the fact that actors are not the tidiest of people.  A “friend” took that comment out of context and took it as a personal attack on him and his group of actors.  He let me know that he didn’t appreciate the comment.  It wasn’t intentional, but I do see how he could have taken it personally.

Another “friend” was sending multiple comments to Facebook through Twitter.  I received about 50 status updates from him in a matter of a couple of hours.  I jokingly commented that “someone needs to give their thumbs a rest”.  Another “friend” thought I was referring to her and told me to block her if I didn’t like it.  It wasn’t her that I was talking about.  Again, my comment was taken out of context.

I belong to various groups, organizations and causes.  I make “general” comments about my frustration with certain behaviors, character flaws or situations.  I air my pet peeves.  And every single time I do, I get emails or private messages from “friends” who think I’ve targeted them or the organization they belong to.  They are paranoid.  Facebook seems to bring out the best in people and the worst in people.  Trust me, if I have a problem with someone, they’ll know it long before it becomes a comment on Facebook.

For this reason, I have shied away from accepting clients and prospects as friends – at least until I get to know them on a more personal level.  On the other hand, there are “friends” on Facebook that have become clients or referred me to others because they’ve gotten to know me and like me.  They trust me.

I see little Facebook skirmishes pop up all of the time, especially between a certain group of ladies that I went to school with. They get into these personal and public squabbles that lead to hurt feelings – the same thing that happened 30 years ago.

My advice? Only mix business with Facebook fun when you think it’s appropriate.  Set up a Facebook fan page or group for your business or organization and only use it for business purposes.  Use your personal profile for being you and don’t worry about what others think.  If they don’t agree with you and give you grief, that’s their problem.   Facebook has a built-in “unfriend” feature.  With the tap of a finger, you can banish someone from your Facebook kingdom forever.

For me, Facebook has been a great way to socialize, rekindle past relationships and build new ones.  Not to mention it helps me blow off a little steam when needed.   It has also helped my business grow.  So, I’m putting my Facebook Friends on notice… I plan to keep on being me.